Almost and Altogether Love
The GriefShare curriculum includes quotations regarding the journey of grief from many pastors, authors, speakers and some relatively unknown individuals. One of the most memorable quotations is from Zig Ziglar. He notes that ‘grief is the price you pay for having loved.’ Zig’s slow, deliberate style of delivery emphasizes an obvious fact of life with piercing clarity. His words provide an example of an undeniable, yet frequently unacknowledged truth found in the Gospel of Luke—‘But whoever has been forgiven little loves little’ (7:47).
In the third chapter of the book “Almost Christmas: A Wesleyan Advent Experience, April Casperson describes her understanding of the complexities of the distinction between almost love and altogether love. April describes altogether love as a mature, accepting love that embraces both beauty and imperfection. For many of us, we are surrounded by anxieties that are related to our fear of rejection. Brene Brown, a sociologist, speaker and professor, is widely known for her presentations addressing vulnerability, shame and courageous leadership. April and Brene help us grapple with the paralyzing fear of being unlovable. Often, we are so worried that at some point, perhaps when someone learns something about us, that we will be rejected. Being rejected is equivalent to being unloved.
Rejection is a choice made by someone else that results in a level of pain that is almost indescribable. Love is also a choice that results in feelings of joy and peace that are indescribable. “Almost love” reflects a conditional choice that is determined by fickle, superficial qualities that satisfy human expectations and sensibilities of convenience and cultural norms. “Altogether love” reflects the radical and reckless acceptance of the complexities of each individual. “Altogether love” is a choice to love in spite of the frustrations, anger and disappointments.
Advent is a season that helps us prepare to accept the gift of love in the birth of our Savior. A gift reflects the love that the giver of the gift has for the recipient of the gift. “Altogether love” reflects the love God has for each of us, not because of what we have done, but because of whose we are—we belong to God.
While Christmas is a season in which many people expect to receive lots of gifts, as Christians the most valuable and important gift, love, has already been given. We must simply accept the gift of love from God and God wants us to share the gift of love with others. While there may be people who we find difficult to love, we must confess that there are times when we are not easy to love. Yet, God’s love for us is reflected in many ways, especially in the ways that we are forgiven. The lesson in the Gospel of Luke highlights the woman’s expression of her love for Jesus because of all the things for which she has been forgiven.
Love is a liberating gift that can set us free from guilt, shame and even grief. By choosing to embrace “altogether love,” we can better understand and accept the gift of love that has been so freely given to us through Christ. “Almost love” is a close, but unacceptable alternative to the “altogether love” we have received from Christ. The gift of love can only be shared with others after we’ve accepted it from God.
We are looking forward to seeing you in worship and in class as we grow, learn, laugh and share with others.
In Christ,
Jon McCoy
